Monday, December 29, 2008


Ahhh…. Another 2 days to end of the year.

Time to recap the year’s events.

Highlights –

1. I got to spend time with my gals for the Raya.

2. I got myself a great job.

3. I solved most of my bad debts with credit cards.

Downer –

1. My best friends broke up.

2. A great friend found herself a boyfriend and completely cuts me out of her life.

3. A girlfriend is back with her girlfriend and has no time for me.

Question of the year –

Did my ex got herself a boob job???


All in all…. It has been a great year.

Goodbye 2008!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Best Gift Ever

I have announced my wish list.

Now I want to tell the world the best gift ever that I ever got.

We all remember our first gift or our best gift.

My best gift is….








She is the best gift that I have ever received.

She is a godsend.

She came into my life when nothing was going for me.

My life was hitting rock bottom fast at that time.

She is the light at the end of the tunnel.

She is the angel that keeps my hopes alive.

She is not perfect, but she is like a precious stone with an exquisite flaw.

I love her, flaws and all.

She is a gift that keeps giving.

She is my best friend, my confidante and my lover.

She is my everything.

She is my best gift ever, forever.



I’m on the ferry.

The last time I was on it was like when I was really really young.

It was a long wait to board, and there wasn’t really anything to do on it.

I just like to be on the sea with the wind blowing in my face.

Some might even say its boring but I dun care.

I enjoyed it.

Sunday, December 21, 2008



Its not what you think.

I am referring to the plane, Focker. =P

Took my first Focker ride with Firefly.

It was surprisingly comfortable.

I was taking lots of AirAsia before this and I seriously love Firefly better.

It helps that the stewardess are a lot more better looking.

Took some beautiful shots from the window.

Normally the plane would be too high to have anything of interest to look at, but Fockers fly at a lower altitude.

Its like being on top of the world when you look out the window.

Firefly rocks!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wish List

Dear Santa,

You know when I have been good and when I have been notty.

You know I like being notty.

Cant help it but I love being notty.

Notty is fun.


You know I mean no harm to others. *wink*

If you can find it in you to overlook my indiscretions, please check out my wish list.

1. I want to be with the love of my life 24/7

2. I want my gals back

3. I want my company to make a monthly turnover of at least 10 million a month

4. And peace to all mankind =P

I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.

Yes I Do

My bro (Ben) asked me a very interesting question.

“Do you miss your gals?”

I do. A lot.

Every time I see a little gal I think of my gals.

I see family with gals, I miss my days with my gals.

I see Miley Cyrus, she reminds me of Jazmeen.

I see a cheeky young gal, reminds me of Nadya.

I cry whenever I watch a movie about family breakups, especially when it involves gals.

I love my gals.

I miss my gals.

I pray that they will come back to me one day.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Old Mates In New Roles

Yay, Halim and Sita in the house.

They just joined Nanang yesterday.

Both are friends and will add more color to the office.

Both have work ettiquettes that I want.

Both are nutty in their own ways.

Counting on them to make the office more dynamic and to push Nanang to greater heights.

Friday, November 28, 2008

I Love You, Father Mother

I know its strange but thats what I call my parents.

Father and Mother.

No special nicks or terms of endearment.... just an efficient Father Mother.


Our relationship is also the same... efficient.

There are no manja or loving moments.

Just an efficient relationship that does not even require us to say it.

We show our love with our actions.

We take care of each other when required.

Its cold.... but its efficient.

I have gotten so used to the way we are that I have forgotten how much I love them or how much they love me.

I just found out how much my parents love me.

Its strange.... I should already know... but I took them for granted.

I know they are willing to protect me when I needed protection but to actually hear what they did.

I cant put it in writing now what they did as it would reflect badly on someone else...

I love you too Mark, but you are so blind to what is happening around you.

I will never stand in your way to happiness but it saddens me that Father and Mother is put in a situation that they shouldn’t be.

I love your daughters like my own and it breaks my heart that you cant see their broken hearts.

Father.... Mother..... thank you.

I can never repay what you did.

I can never show you how I feel.

I want to.... but its not our way.

I can only tell you here.....

I love you guys with all my heart.

Father, I Love You.

Mother, I Love You.

I'm Back!

I’m back.

Eight days on the road is a real killer.

Its tiring. Its frustrating at times... but again, great company helps.

Also helps that they know all the good places to eat.

Should have put on lots of weight from all the heavy eating.... but its balanced out by the hard work involved.

Miss my baby the most when I was on the road.

Glad to be back with her again.

Took the east west road from Kota Bharu to Sungai Petani.

The last time I was on that road was more than 10 years ago.

Nothing has changed.

The scenery is still beautiful.

I can see that they are building a hotel near the big lake.

Its time the beauty of that place is shared with the world.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Specially For My Baby

I Miss You.

Coz I’m Here Without You Baby.

You Will Always Be My Baby.

Upon Reflection... Thats The Way Love Goes.

You Gotta Have Faith.

I Want You Closer, We Will Never Be Too Close.

It Doesnt Have To be This Way, But I Miss You Much.

Nobody Knows How Much.

We Must Be Stronger.

I’d Die Without You.

Everything I Do, I Do It For You.

Its So Hard To Say Goodbye.

And I Am Telling You.

I Am Sorry.

I Am Crazy For You.

I Want To be Set Adrift On A Memory Bliss Of You.

Lean On Me. Relax.

Sadness Wont Help.

Things Will Get Better In Time.

We Can Never Return To Innocence.

I Love You.


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Kota Kinabalu

Just came back from KK.

Was there for 3 days.

Its been more than 10 years since I last visited the Land Below the Wind.

The place is still breath taking.

The fresh air, the beautiful and friendly locals and the delicious food.

Stuffed myself crazy with food.... hahahaha

I especially love the Salted Egg Crab. Its really to die for.

Seafood is soooo cheap there.

Cant wait to go back there again next month.

Gonna try out new food.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Smoke Get In My Eyes

Due to political reasons and the threat of possible sedition, I cannot divulge the name of the person who I am quoting in here.

"Tunku Abdul Rahman did not allow Chinese to join when he started UMNO because there was a strong fear that the communist threat would infiltrate the party" in response to his opinion on the social contract.

"The NEP is no longer relevant as the hard working Malays do NOT need it".

He added the last sentance without any prompting.

Tears welled up in my eyes when he said that.

Any other person saying that would not have that effect, but the gentleman sitting in front of me is no ordinary person.

He is historical, he personally knows Tunku, he is surrounded by historical artifacts with pictures of all our previous Malaysian great leaders.

The effect it has on me was instant.

Without warning, I can feel my eyes watering.

I am so touched to know that the great minds of Malaysia knows the truth and sees the truth.

Its the propaganda of our newspapers and our leaders who is viciously talking about the social contract and the need for NEP.

This gentleman's opinion will never see the light of day in our newspapers as he knows Tunku too well to be doubted.

His opinion will cast a storm on xxxx.

It is lucky for xxxx that he has chosen a private and humble life with no political aspirations.

Though I have read of others who share the same opinion, but to personally hear it from this person, in his living room, it feels like I was there when Tunku shouted Merdeka.

Malaysia was built on the hardwork and great minds of our leaders.

A great mind has spoken, and it echos the opinion of many.

NEP needs to go and there is no such thing as a social contract.

I do not have the strength of RPK to fight the system or tell everyone about this information.

God forgive me and May God forgive those who has twisted the truth.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Greatest Company Ever

When one thinks about the perfect organization to join, there is a few things that come to mind. Environment like the Google organization, great pay, great working ambiance and great working mates.

Never had the total package before.
The closest I came to that is wonderful friends from work.
I have worked in many organizations, but only 2 came to mind.

One is Dymax and the other is VADS.

The pay sucks, the management play politics all the time but it helps that I was surrounded by wonderful friends.

Now that I am in Nanang, its like a dream when the perfection is so close.

Great friends surrounding me, wonderful pay, office environment that is wonderful (this will only happen in 2010 when we move into our own building in Glenmarie).
I want to share this with all my friends that are still stuck with other companies.

Halim is confirmed coming in.

Q is on his way.

I want to share with all my friends.

I want to create the best working environment that anyone has ever seen.

I want this organization to be the envy of all others.

Most of all, I dont want to succeed alone.

So Sorry....

So sorry....

I know there are lots of you who is pissed off at me for not blogging enough or is not around town enough.

The travelling is hectic.

I’m spending more time in hotels than in my own bed.

Not answering my handphone, not calling back missed calls or replying to messages.

My apologies.

I am either sleeping or involved in meetings.

There were also lots of times where I ran out of credit.

This is especially true when I am outstation and making lots of calls.

Please be patient with me.

Will update everyone on what’s happening with my life and catch up with all my friends.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Roll Call Updated

Linda, Dayana, Alena, Muliza, American Chick, Zuridah, Stephanie, Joyce, Shikin, Nadiah, Nicole, Yana, Zurina, Madeline, Pahang Gal, Sue, Dewi, Mie, Fizah, Siti, Bee, Lyana, Moon, Nurul, Beth, Sherry, Tina, Syezza

another day, another update... *wink*



Been travelling Malaysia alot.

Right after my raya holiday, I went to Johor for a few days.

Then spent almost 5 days in the east Coast.

Though I am back in the office, next week will be up north for at least 3 days.

Very tired from all the travelling, but it helps that the company is excellent.

Its fun when my travelling mates are as crazy as I am.

They might be my colleagues, but we have bonded and are now great friends.

The best thing about travelling is the meeting of new people, and the food.... the wonderful food that is found when we travel.

Gonna get fat if I continue to travel like this. LOL

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Grrrr..... Not Interested!

Sorry Hunn

You know I love you but I am not interested in playing tagged.

You know the games I prefer to play.

*wink wink*

Yay! Had A Great Time!

It was great.

I got to spend real quality time with my gals.

Though its only for two days, but it was better than nothing.

Was suppose to pick them up at 2pm but they were late.
Picked them up at 430pm and immediately took them to Semenyih for the photo shoot.
My first family portrait.

Did one with mummy and another just the family.

No soft copy yet, but will upload when I get one.

After that, took them home to mother’s place.

They got along immediately with their cousins, Joey and Michelle.

It was fun just watching them interact with each other.

Its like they have never been separated.

Really love watching them!

Slept over, (they took advantage of no bedtime and slept late)

Spend the day just chillin.

Nadya was always with her GBA.

Jazmeen and Michelle were inseparable.

All things came to an end at 9pm.

Had to send them back.

It was a great 2 days.

Will miss them in the coming days.

Cant wait for next year........... (God willing they will be back)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Selamat Hari Raya



After a month of fasting, its time to eat like there is no tomorow.

I know you guys will not approve, but I've earned it.

Good time, great place.... makan!!!

and btw.... Selamat Hari Raya to all my muslim brothers and sisters

Open house at my place this saturday. *wink*

Monday, September 29, 2008

At Last.....


Just went out with the gals.

It was ackward in the beginning.

Nadya had tears in her eyes.

I nearly had tears in my eyes.

More than two years not meeting... thats a very long time.

It was fun hanging with them.

Nadya was like me when I was young.

Love to read.

Jazmeen is being her usual hyperself. Non stop questions and chattering.

Couldnt find anything good in Mid Valley, so moved to Amcorp and bought their Raya clothes.

Then brought them home to chill.

Our conversations are smoother now.

Then broke fast at Uptown.

Had tons of seafood... Jazmeen ate more than me!!!

We had oysters, prawn, squid, kerang and bamboo lala.

Thats lots of food!

Then back to Mid Valley for ice cream at NZ Natural.


It was a great day, had fun, cant wait to celebrate Raya with them.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Goodbye... My Good Friend

After 7 years of loyalty, I have to say good bye to my friend.

My handphone, Nokia 8250. Also known as the blue butterfly in its prime.

7 years is a long time to hold on to a handphone.

Gonna replace it tonite with a Nokia 6500S.

The strange thing, when I think about it.... I have never really bought a phone.

My first handphone was a company’s. It was a Nokia. I remember it well with its slim and long body and a antenna thats always sticking at me.

My second was a free phone that came with a registered line. It was a Ericsson. Those days, Sony and Ericsson were two different entities.

My third.... Nokia 8250... yes my third, meaning tonite is my fourth...

My third was a bargain sold to me by my client. He doesn’t need a new phone so he sold it to me for RM400.00 which was a steal as the market price was RM1K plus!

I guess you can say that I bought that phone, but not from the shop.

Today, Yana is gonna pick up my phone and pass it to me later tonite.

At last... a new phone.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Dun Make Me Wait!

My YM chat just 10 minutes ago


She: abang

Me: u dun answer yr calls and sms?

She: i do abang

She: sorry if i offend u

Me: just dissapointed

She: but i was invited for terawikh

Me: u cant send a sms saying u cant make it?

She: im so sorry if i offend u,i really didnt meant to.

Me: i'm curious

Me: why didnt u jawab my calls or my sms?

Me: terawih is at night

Me: i called u like a thousand times during the day

Me: sent u sms

She: huh?

Me: u didnt think it necessary to jawab?

She: i saw ur call during evening near to berbuka time

She: thats it

She: i swear

Me: why didnt u answer?

Me: i waited ok

Me: i am not offended that u cannot make it

She: alright, its like this.i have another sometimes i didnt bring my other phone with me.but seriously, that day i only saw ur call one time near berbuka

She: i thot it was too late

Me: i am FUCKING offended that u dun have the decency to jawab yr call

She: and u might just continue ur plan

She: i didnt know that i offended u this much

She: im so sorry

Me: its like u dun have respect for my time

Me: u just keep me waiting after making plans

Me: is it that hard to just send a msg to say u cant make it

Me: u just assume i buat plan lain

Me: i respect u enuff to keep my plans free waiting for u

Me: but u just buat bodoh

She: ok abang

She: i unedrstand

She: im really sorry

Me: i just wanted to tell u how i feel

Me: and to tell u that if this is the way u treat people who wants to care abt u

Me: no wonder they are not many who gvs a shit abt u

Me: u have a good life and may u find happiness in yr screwed up life of yrs


And that is what happens when I am kept waiting unnecessarily!

My Work

Yes, I know....

Why is there no further information on my work?

OK... here goes.

My company is called Nanang International Sdn. Bhd.

Its dealing with MLM focusing on health products.

Not gonna bore you with the health aspects of it.

For those who doesn’t know whats MLM, its short for Multi Level Marketing. Still no idea? Amway rings a bell? LOL

Well, I am the Head of Sales.

I run trainings, do presentations, conduct seminars.... you get the idea.

I will be travelling all over Malaysia. Its fun, but also tiring.

I cant wait to do the international scene.

In the near future, we have our sights on Thailand, Indonesia, Singapore and


After that, the middle east, India and onwards to the west.

Since there are 3 of us, my focus will be on customer service or support, whichever you wanna look at it.

I will be the point of reference when our distributors need information.

Information will be disseminated via telephone, email or face to face.

Obviously I cant do this alone.

Thats why I have been looking for members to join our team.

Preferably a hot young thing (female), but they are not easy to find.

Well, thats work in a nutshell, but the ramadhan month is slowing things down.

Thats normal in MLM.

Will keep you updated on whats coming up next.

Half A Month

Its been 15 days of fasting.

Time flies really fast, not that I’m complaining.

Another 15 days to go.

But before Raya, I will get to spend sometime with my gals.

A buka puasa probably at mid valley.

Its sort of like ice breaker before the main event after Raya.

Saying that I am abit nervous is an understatement.

Its been years since I last saw them.

Nervous.... but also excited.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Happy Ramadhan!

Ramadhan is upon us again.

It always surprises everyone that I fast.

I always fast a full month.

I might act like the devil all the time but I always try my best t be good during the Ramadhan month.

I am not a role model when it comes to Islam, but I do know whats wrong or right.

I try my best to atone for my sins that I do for the rest of the year.


I know thats weird but thats who I am.

Happy fasting. *wink*

Friday, August 29, 2008


Beth tagged me.
a) State 15 weird things/habits or little known facts about yourself.
b) Tag 10 people to do it
c) No tag backs

I love bisexual women.

Angry women turns me on.

I do not like to be kept waiting.

I don’t get angry, I get even.

I don’t make threats, I make promises.

Have very soft spot for the female gender.

Want to have lots of babies. Love big family.

I was a geek in school. In the band and chess club.

I am still a geek. Love to read and play playstation.

I prefer cats over dogs.

I prefer cold over heat.

I hate heights.

I can play the bagpipes.

I really hate and despise liars.

I hate getting tagged!

I tag:
Yana, Diane, Q, Aidan, Joey, Nadya, Jazmeen, Mikhail, Jibrail, Meera

New Team

A new gang.

All three of us are Head of Department for sales, but our focus is different.

The one on the left is John Toh. His focus is training. He is like a walking encyclopaedia. Very knowledgeable but is annoying when he rambles on too much without getting to the point.

Great guy to have around.

Great source of reference.

The one next to him is H.

He is our boss but he does not want to be known as one. He wants to be a part of the team. I think thats cool. Not a lot of bosses who are willing to get their hands dirty. His name card says he is Head of Department for Corporate Affairs.

Great visionary.

A very good team player.

Thats me. I am focusing on Customer Service. My forte.

And on my left is Benjamin Beh. Head of Marketing. We used to work together. My sifu and big brother. Learned a lot when we were working together in Dymax. Am honoured to be working again with him.

A rock who can make things happen form nothing.

A guy you dun want to mess with.

Been working with them for a month.

Great team.

One vision.

One mission.


Friday, August 15, 2008


Just had an interesting conversation on the catalyst that made us who we are.

Some people probably never had one. Is it fortunate or unfortunate?

I would say it depends on how they turn out.

A timid person might be viewed positively if it is the norm of that society to see it as such.

Me? I am outspoken, aggressive, opinionated, a straight shooter and very confrontational.

Majority tells me that these are negative traits but strangely I have people trying to emulate me (unsuccessfully and sometimes very funny to watch) and highly sought after by market research companies.

But I was never like this when I was younger.

I used to be very quiet, non confrontational (I cant even look at another person in their eyes), walk about looking down on the floor and was bullied in school.

The catalyst would be when I was 12 years old.

That was the year when I beat up my school mate (not something that I should be proud of) but it did change my life.

It was not in a dark alley or a hidden nook when this happened.

It was just outside my class with my fellow schoolmates walking about. It was before school started.

They just turned a blind eye. It was strange. It was like we were in a world of our own.

It all started when my school mate wanted to borrow my “game and watch” (it was big during my time in the year 1983). It was like a primitive PSP and had only a single game on it.

He borrowed it and conveniently forgot to return it after a month.

I kept pestering him for it and he always came up with a stupid excuse.

Then 1 day I just flipped when he didn’t bring it again.

I just hit him. I felt bad and worried about getting in trouble but nothing came of it.

Stupidly enough, he still didn’t bring it back again the next day.

So, I hit him everyday for a week before he returned it.

It made me understand that to make a point, one had to resort to violence.

My following days and years were violent.

I believed that violence was needed to get what I want.

I was feared and respected.

Thankfully, in my life, I had lots of “big brothers” who taught me well.

Taught me patience, humility and the power of words over fists.

So, here I am, a jerk, a bastard, a son of a bitch.

Just be thankfully you didn’t know me when I was in my teens.

Half a Month

Well, half a month in my new place.

I love it.

Lugging around a company laptop. It’s cool coz I am mobile and everything moves with me, but its a bitch when I go shopping. I am so worried that it will get stolen, I dun even lock it in my boot. Better safe than sorry.

So, wherever I go, my laptop follows.

H (my boss, but he hates being referred to as the boss), got all of us new suits.

Thats cool as well.

Come to think of it, I have never paid for any of my suits before, and I have a few in my wardrobe. LOL

Anyways, just wanna say that I am really happy here and I hope and I pray, this will be the last company I will be with.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


More good news....

My gals will be coming back to Malaysia for Raya.
I have not seen them for a few years, and the last time I was with them, it was only for a few hours before I they leave for Australia.
I know that 1 day seems too short after so many years, but I will count my blessings that at least I get to spend a day with them.
I would love to them to spend a night with me but I guess they are nervous about seeing me too.
Yes, I am nervous too.
They have grown, they have changed, they have developed.
Will it be awkward?
Will it be uncomfortable?
God.... I miss them so much.
I want us to be like before, like we have never parted.
I just hope we can be friends.
Gals.... Nadya and Jazmeen.
I love you so much.
I miss you so much.
I cant wait for you gals to be in my arms again.

A New Beginning

At last....
Back to work after a month of lazing around.
Time to exercise the grey matter.
I am now working with Nanang International.
An MLM company dealing with health products.
I am the Head of Sales.
There are 3 of us.
My focus is on the customer support.
So my name card says HOD – Customer Service.
Tie and long sleeve 5 days a week.
Gonna have to get use to that since I have only been wearing jeans and T-shirt in my previous place.
Its fun to start my own team and challenging that I have to lay the company’s foundation.
Its easier when the other two HOD, Ben and John has the same vision and ideas for the company.
Its even better when my boss, Hoong Teng is a great guy who shares the same ideas.
This is going to be a great place to work in.
Great colleuges, wonderful boss..........
I hope it last, coz the money is incredible.
I hope that this will be the last place that I am to be.
I am tired of changing jobs.
I am tired of thinking about my financial situation.
Bottom line is... I am just tired.
I want to make this work.
I want this to be a success.
So far, I am happy.
I will make this work!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Magic Duel

A very different game compared to other MMORPG games out there.

You need brains besides brawns.

You cant just keep attacking people to go stronger.

You actually need to lose as well.

Its a game of balance.

There are also lots of competition and puzzles for you to flex your brain muscles.

Basically, the direction of the game is based on the decisions made by the players.

You need to collect creatures to assist in your fights.

Creatures are different and plays are different role in fighting.

Not your standard the strongest is the best.

Brains is as important as your brawns.

Torn City

Its a game where I am on the wrong side of the law.

I get to do all sorts of crimes.

The more crimes I do, the higher level I go.

Also, I get to attack other players to gain more experience.

With the money I make from mugging or doing crimes, I can upgrade my residence, open my own business, gamble or just buy powerful weapons to attack more people.

It might be just a game, but you need to strategize and be business savvy to be good in the game.

Saturday, July 26, 2008


I know I know.....

Why have i been so quiet....?

Can't be helped.

My daily routine is sending Yana to work, hang out at cc, go home for lunch, watch some astro and play some PS. Day in day out.....

Anyway, I'm excited there is just another week to go before I start my work.

I plan to talk about my two online games before I start work.

Maybe you will join me there.... *wink*

Torn City and Magic Duel

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


Well, its been like any other day at work.

The only difference is that I am serving my notice.

After lunch, my boss called me in and said she doesn't want to waste my time.

No point in me coming for work.

The company will pay me till the end of my notice.


This means I am on a month's break.... PAID!

I only start my new work on 1st August.

WTF am I gonna do for a month.

I spent nearly 2K on fixing the car, so I am broke.

I don't have a laptop yet.

How much astro can I watch?

How much PS can I play?

Hehehehe... I am freaking out from too much free time.

Once upon a time......

I still remember my first job.

I was a cook in KFC at Yow Chuan Plaza.

Right after SPM, when everyone was thinking about how to enjoy the vacations, I wanted to make money. It was supposedly a part-time job, but when you are working 6 days a week…. That’s as good as full time.

Other part-time jobs while studying includes working in 7-Eleven and Supermodel of the World. Nope… I wasn’t a model. I was employed as the “dude”. Only male there, so did all the heavy lifting. I did a runway show but that doesn’t qualify me as a model.

My first real job after finishing my education was with DeliParis.

Yes… DeliParis… a DeliFrance wannabe.

From a baker, I left as a Store Manager.

Then I was the Store Manager for Hop-In. (7-Eleven wannabe?)

From there I moved on to be a trainer in American Chilli’s. It was fun. I got to travel to Singapore and the States.

After getting in trouble in the States I had to make a decision.

I was young but do I want to make my mark in F&B.

I decided to change fields.

I want to get into sales. Hated sales, but I am not one who will walk away from a challenge. Started looking around and got myself work as a salesman. It was tough. Had to lug a trolley or big bag around selling goods to the public. It was tiring but the money was good. I was averaging RM80 to RM100 a day. You do the math.

Before long, I was promoted to be a manager. Then promoted again to be senior manager in charge of Kuantan. Had a blast. Had lots of fun… but had to resign because of family issues in Kuala Lumpur. I had just missed the birth of my first born. I vowed to stay by my family’s side.

Worked with an advertising company, ExtraBiz as an advertising executive. Not long after that the country was hit by the currency crisis. George Soros had attacked the ringgit. Advertising was badly affected by it. ExtraBiz had to close shop. I moved on to be a Business Development Manager with Silver Bullet, a production company. Couldn’t survive either. I was out of a job.

Worked as a part-time waiter in a golf course. The Monterez Golf Club.
One of the golfers there offered me a job as a Sales Executive selling chemicals. The product was watered down and cheap. Couldn’t penetrate the market.

Moved on to be a Operations Manager with a cleaning company. The bosses were at logger heads with each other. The business didn’t last long.

Got myself a position as a marketing executive in a direct selling company (MLM), Dymax Bio Blue. All was looking rosy until a new senior marketing manager joined and made my life miserable. Need to go. Need to leave.

An offer was made to me to be an Assistant Marketing Manager with another direct selling company, Axispax. I jumped. I was so glad. It was short lived. It’s a “Skim Cepat Kaya” company. I had to deal with disgruntled investors everyday. I toughen myself out. Told the management I would only handle overseas market. I was in charge of Singapore. The company crumbled under all the financial constraints.

Couldn’t get myself a proper job. Had a stint as a illegal broker with a Forex company. Made some money but the company was shut down by the authorities. Then tried my hand as a outbound tour guide. It was fun but SARS hit and tours were cancelled. My services no longer required. *sigh* Took a up a position as a telemarketer for Hilton. It was something to do until I find something better.

That something better was General Manager of Natural Products Distribution. Things are looking up. But my luck wouldn’t hold. The boss took out all the cash flow and started another company. I can’t run a company without money… I need to leave again.

I went for countless interviews. I was always told that I was over qualified.

At last VADS.

The job is to answer calls from Streamyx users who are facing problems. I worked my ass off. I was promoted to QMS Specialist, then QA Specialist, QA Supervisor and then the hot seat…. KM Lead. I was in charge of trainers. The position got my back full of holes. The back stabbing is crazy. I don’t care. I just want to do my job. But I had to leave when the doctor said that my BP was off the charts. I was too tense. I need to loosen up. I left.

Now I am a trainer with Pacnet. Its laid back, the money is good. No stress.

The only politics that’s happening is a bitchy staff and the Singaporean management trying to stop us from looking too good. Small potatoes compared to what I had to deal with in VADS.

Then a call came. I was asked to attend an interview with a Mr Lim. Supposedly for a telemarketing position.


Why not?

Whats the harm?

It turns out that the position is top management. I have to build a call center from scratch. The boss wants it totally online. The money he offered was something I wouldn’t and couldn’t resist.

And here we go again….. I am leaving.

A new challenge awaits.

A new start.

New Beginning

Here we go again…..

Every time I felt that I have finally found the company that I want to stay in…. I leave.

Today is the first day of my 1 month notice.

I will be starting at my new position on 1st August.

Its exciting, I cant wait.

Why do I want to leave?

Obviously because of the money.

The challenge is exciting too.

The money the new company is offering shows that they really really want me in.

Its nice to be wanted.

Its even nicer to know that they sought me out instead of me applying for it.

Not gonna mention the amount here but its money that I never though I can make.

I have dreamt about it but to actually see the figure on paper is too good to be true.

Anyways, didn’t feel sad about leaving here as I have made a point to keep everyone at arm’s length.

Made some friends but no good friends unlike my previous place.

Why? Probably I had an instinct that I wont be long here.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Roll Call

Linda, Dayana, Alena, Muzidah, American Chick, Zuridah, Stephanie, Joyce, Shikin, Nadiah, Nicole, Yana, Zurina, Madeline, Pahang Gal, Sue, Dewi, Mie, Fizah, Siti, Bee, Lyana, Moon, Nurul, Beth

Go figure..... *wink*

You wanna get married?

Just had lunch with one of my trainee.

We were just shooting the breeze when the topic of marriage came up.

He wants to marry his gal.

Just a bit of background on my trainee. He is in his mid 20s and his galfriend is in her early 20s.

My trainee is working as an agent in a call center while his gal is still studying.

Financially they are not stable, but what got me thinking is that the dude is still playing the field.

Out of curiosity, I ask him why does he want to get married.

He said they have been dating for 6 years.

I told him that’s not a good reason.

He feels obligated to marry her because she helped him when times were bad.

Obligated? That’s a horrendous reason to get married.

The galfriend will “mengungkit” if he doesn’t marry her!

WoW! Now that’s a good reason….. hahahahaha

Its nice of him to do what he thinks is right…. but marriage is not for a day or two. Its suppose to be forever.

Love is the predominant factor for two people wanting to be together forever.

Without love….. the chances are high that the marriage wont work.

Unfortunately, love is not enough to make a marriage work.

There is respect, understanding, tolerance and whole lots more.

Its one thing to say that you miss your partner when apart, but its totally different when you have to be with that person 24/7.

Love can turn to hate when there is no other factors involved.

You think about that person all the time. You have strong feelings for that person. You dream about that person. There is a lot of things you wanna say and do to that person.

Did I describe love? Or hate?

It can be either one.

Hate is just a flipside away from love.

So….. please have a good reason to get married.

No need to think a million times or think things over a week.

Just have a good reason… then you can get married.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Good bye......

Came home from work last night and there it was, laying on its side

Normally they would float….. but it just lay on its side…..

I was in shock.

Yana was crying.

I wanted to cry, but I kept telling myself, its only a fish.

I used to flush my previous fishes down the toilet, but it was too big.

It had grown to nearly a feet long.

When I picked it up from the tank, it was heavy.

Reminded me of all the feeding frenzy and the way its tummy looks like it ate a golf ball.

Mummy was sad too and joked that I should have sold it to her.

It was beautiful. Physically beautiful.

Rustic colored fins with a dark body.

A broad white line on its side making it look sporty.

The way it feed. Sucking prawns into its mouth.

Hunting other smaller fishes.

Will be missed…..


Monday, June 2, 2008

From The Bottom Of My Heart

We are the complete opposites.

We come from different cultural backgrounds.

I trust easily and you are distrusting all the time.

I am optimistic and you are cynical.

I prefer to stay at home but you want to socialize.

I see the good in all and you see the bad.

I love to protect and you hate people think you need protection.

But you are my everything.

You are my best friend when we are hanging out.

You are my “dude” when I am hunting.

You are my “enemy” when I need a good debate.

You are my shoulder when I need to cry.

You are my lover when I am horny.

You are my advisor when I am lost.

You are my rock when I am astray.

You are my confidante when I need to express myself.

You are crazy when I need to be crazy.

You are serious when I need to be serious.

You are always there when I need you.

You are my soul mate.

I love you…….

Soul Mates

Have I always believed in soul mates?

I don’t know.

Though its hard for me to admit, I guess I have always been a romantic at heart. Probably, due to the lack of affection shown in my developing years.

I was always buried in books, lapping up the scenarios and atmospheres conjured by the authors of wonderfully written books.

I probably believed in soul mates when I was younger…. until the harsh brutality of the real world keeps beating down on me.

After many unsuccessfully romances, I kinda stop believing in soul mates.

I became a jerk (hehehe… I am still a jerk), a no nonsense efficient in your face hunter. I stop indulging in small talks, romance, dating…..

Then I got married. Not that I was settling.

She was beautiful.

She was desired by others.

She chose me…. I was flattered.

She gave me two beautiful angels.

How can I fault her.

It takes two to make a marriage work.

I have my faults. She has hers.

I kinda stop loving her.

Tried to make it work for the sake of my angels but the shoutings and the fights were taking a toll on them too.

I had to leave….. the hardest decision I ever had to make.

Do I still believe in soul mates…? Probably not at that time.

I would never have believed that I could be one of the lucky ones, the blessed few who can actually find their soul mates and be with them.

How many times have I heard of someone finding their soul mates but cannot be together?

What are the chances that you will find your soul mate and she finds that you are also her soul mate?

I guess I would rather take my chances on a lottery ticket.

I did win….. but not financially……

I found my soul mate, she found her soul mate. We found each other.

Two peas in a pod.

Birds of a feather.

Do I believe in soul mates?

Definitely, absolutely, positively YES!

Happy Birthday

The month of June has always been hard on me.

This is the month my two princesses were born.

June, 17 1996. Nadya Syaqeera was brought forth to the world. I missed the wonderful occasion because I was stuck in Kuantan. That’s probably why I over-compensate by spoiling her.

June, 28 1998. Sofea Jazmeen. I stood there transfixed when the doctor pulled her into our world. It’s an experience I will never forget. I am sorry for all those times when u feel I love your sister more than you. That’s not true. I love you more than you can ever imagine.

It’s hard because I believe that birthdays should be celebrated with the ones that loves u.

It’s hard because I love the both of you with all my heart.

It’s hard because I am not there for you when you need me.

Happy Birthday my darlings!

Happy Birthday my beautiful angels!

Happy Birthday......

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Ask, and You Will Get

She is hot.

She knows she is hot.

Not only is she physically hot, she is also smart.

That’s a lethal combination.

But why was she in so many disastrous relationships.

She will probably deny and say that her relationships were not that bad

That’s the cute thing about her, even with all her experiences, she can still be na├»ve and innocent.

Its one of her personal traits that I love… she likes to see the positive in everything.

Makes one wants to just hold her and protect her from the big bad world.

*sigh* but she is strong.

She is stronger than she thinks.

She is probably tired of being strong.

Its nice to be vulnerable and be taken care of.

Hopefully this new guy will know how lucky he is to have her.

She deserves to be loved.

She deserves to be pampered.

I just hate the fact that he is taking her away from me.

The Million Dollar Question

Everyone that knows me at one time or another ask the “million dollar question”. Some thinks it but is too respectful to ask.

What is the question?

........ Why did I convert?

Everyone is curious as to why did I convert. Its even more amazing that I converted when I was only 16. Keep in mind that only I did it, none of my family followsuit.

I’m tired of always explaining myself.

So, read on and you will get your answer.

I have to give credit to my girlfriend at that time, Haslinda. Yes, I was 15 and she was only 14. Don’t judge me.

If you must know, my family are Taoist. Praying to lots of “Gods” in the heavenly kingdom.

Me? I was a Satanist. Hahahaha…. Yes, a Satanist.

I actually believed that Satan is good.

I lead my life by the triple 6.

Sorry, to disappoint you, but there was no sacrifices or wild orgies.

Just me believing that Satan was misunderstood.

I cant even remember how I got that idea.

Anyways… back to my story….

I was dating Linda and 1 day we got into a religious discussion.

Since Satanism is not really considered a religion, I was comparing Taoism to Islam.

There was a lot of questions about Taoism that I couldn’t answer and she can answer all queries that I have on Islam.

To make a long story short…. I started attending Islam classes and at the age of 16, my ustaz converted me.

So… between me and God, I converted when I was 16, but I officially converted at the age of 19.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Happy Teacher's Day

It’s Teacher’s Day.

Though its been donkey ears since I left school, (St John’s Institution) I can still remember some of them like it was only yesterday.

Datin Chen (I was only 8 years old but Datin sounds so cool then), Mr Dennis, my band teacher, Mrs Kang & Mr David Fernandez, disciplinary teachers, Mr Goh, geography teacher who is always trying to find different ways to punish the class because we don’t mind the conventional methods, Ms Chia, my form teacher, (sorry I made you cry when I kick you out of our class), Mr Raymond, history teacher (thanks for the canning) and a whole load of others that I cant remember their name.

Then there is Ms Lee and Ms Abishingam…. So hot and yummy…. *drool*

Teachers that made a real difference to me because they actually cared about the class, not just as educationist but because they are human. They touched us on a personal level. Mr Willam Goldman, Mrs Frank Tan and Pn Salmah.

And of course not forgetting my Law lecturer, Mr Lawson who is always sharing his hometown stories. (If anyone skips his class, he will hunt you down to ask why. He cares!)

Happy Teacher’s Day.

To Mr Goldman, Mrs Frank Tan, Puan Salmah and Mr Lawson….

Thank you….. wherever you are.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I Cry

Why do people cry?

A wise man once said that it is because when our emotions are so strong, the body cannot contain it, therefore the body leaks in the form of tears.

Is it true?

Science will probably say differently but…. Nevertheless

We cry.

We cry when we get emotional.

I cried while talking to my babies.

I cry knowing that they are growing up day by day without me beside them.

I cry as I chat with them on YM.

I cry when I write about them.

I cry when I think about them.

I cry…. Whenever I miss them……

I cry……..

My Babies

My beautiful babies.

Growing up to be more beautiful everyday.


Its not enough just to chat over YM.

Its not enough just to look at your pictures.

I need you back in my life…….. *sob*

Monday, April 7, 2008

You Win....


I’m getting a cat (a kitten to be precise)

Someone pointed out that I have better luck with pets now compared to when I was younger.

Right. Sounds like fun.

Now to decide on the type of kitten.

I have narrowed it down to three types.


Fierce and intelligent.


Beautiful and arrogant.


Can easily get one from PAWS for RM30.00.

Not to mention the gray stripe is kinda fierce looking.

Cant seem to find a nice picture of them though.

Will have to find the right time to get it…..

Sigh…. So many cat accessories to buy as well.

Thursday, April 3, 2008


This is the cat that my friend just adopted, Tiger.

She has been pushing me to get a cat of my own.

The thing is I am living in a condo and cats are not allowed.

The only pets I have are a pair of fishes in a tank.

I also have 6 huge turtles but I have no place for them in the condo.

They are staying with my mom who has a large compound. LOL

The thing is, when I was growing up, all pets died on me.

It is only now that they stayed alive.

I had 8 turtles but 2 died.

As for the fishes, you have no idea how many has died and had to be replaced.

My pride and joy, Kaloi and Striped Keli are the only survivors.

I have abit of a phobia with pets dying.

My earliest memories of a pet were fishes. They lasted about 6 months.

Then there were a pair of turtles. Died within the year.

White mouse. Within a month.

A kitten. 2 days.

Rabbits. A year.

So…. You can see the reluctance in me to take in a cat or kitten.

Not only do I feel that my place is not big enough for a cat, but I have a fear of pets dying on me.

It might be only goldfishes, but when the whole lot died, it took all I have not to break down.

I really loved my pets.

A cat dying on me would be horrible.

I love cats.

I have always love cats.

So, when I say no to them, trust me, it is with a very heavy heart.

Things can be better

Look up to the heavens, and you will feel insignificant

Look down to the earth and you will see where your feet is at

Most everyone I know likes to say what they don’t have

Always looking at greener fields

And always complaining about things they don’t have

I have gone through good times and bad times

I used to make RM12K a month as a senior sales manager

There was a time I have only RM2 to my name

When someone asked me, why am I still using a monophonic black and white handphone

I always say I can make and receive calls and can text

I hardly buy clothes for myself as I know that whatever I have is sufficient

There are others who can’t afford decent clothes, let alone new ones

I always finish all my food on my plate

This is coz I grew up with images of Ethiopian kids dying from hunger

I used to ride with my dad on his motorcycle

Therefore I try not to get angry when seeing families of 4 riding their motorcycle

It is commendable to be ambitious

It is not a sin to strive for material things in life

It is not wrong to try and make a name for oneself

But always remember there are people worse off than us

We do not need to look at other countries to see how good we got it

Just look around…..

Whenever you complain about how difficult it is to drive an old car

Look at others who are taking the public transport

Whenever you complain about the lack respect you get at work

Look at others who is searching for one

Whenever your plumbing is not working

Look at those that needs to get some from the nearest well

Whenever your life gets you down

Be thankful for what you have

For life can be worse, a lot more worse

I know, been there, done that

I am not ashamed to be poor

But I don’t ever want to be poor again

And I know I will never be poor again because there will always be someone worse off than me

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Doing The Right Thing

Everyone of us would want to believe that we are doing the right thing.

As the saying goes, “All roads that lead to hell is paved with gold”.

Even when we see someone doing the wrong thing, that individual actually believes that the right thing is being done.

How about when we know what is the right thing to do but do not have the strength to do it?

The right thing to do is never easy.

It is usually the most difficult thing that we have to do.

All around us, the right thing, the right decision, is usually ignored and is not done.

How many times that we have bitched or complained that someone did not do the right thing?

It could be work or it could be personal.

At work it is easier to just follow orders than to stand up to management when a wrong decision is made.

It is easier to just keep a low profile than to voice out against any injustice, for fear of being blacklisted.

Is that how we want to live our lives?

Is that how we want to be remembered?

How about our personal lives?

Do we look away coldly when someone is in trouble?

Do we offer a hand of assistance to those in need?

Do we laugh at other’s misfortune?

The usual reason given is that we are not strong enough.

If everyone believes that they are not strong enough the world will be in chaos. (Not that its any better right now.)

Go on…. Do it! Just do it!

Take a stand. Do what is right.

Its never going to be easy, but trust me….. you will feel better about yourself.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow…. but 1 day, you will look back and smile to yourself, knowing that you did what needs to be done.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I Miss You

I miss you.

It has been more days that I can count since I last saw both of you.

It’s a torture for me not to be able to see you grow up.

Not there to share your life.

I miss your boundless energy.

I miss your unrelenting questions.

I miss your stubbornness.

I miss your mischief, your naughtiness, your nose kiss but most of all…..

I miss you in my arms.


Friends. *sigh*

If only you know how much I cherish you.

I have been brought up with a strong principle of loyalty.

Loyalty to your leaders and to your friends.

A strong sense of brotherhood and strong bonds that should never be broken.

I have never been officially inducted into a gang, but I am unofficially there because of my sense of justice and my willingness to get physical when situations warranted it.

I got into my first fight when I was 12 and my first gang fight when I was 14. Word got around and the next thing I know, seniors were bringing me with them whenever there was trouble involved.

I was never really a gang member because the two predominant gangs in my school was either Chinese or Malay. I am not Malay and neither am I truly a Chinese (in the eyes of other Chinese who doesn’t understand me)

I guess I compensated by joining lots of clubs and associations.

My first true and dearest friend is Ahmad Rashide.

He is the one that makes me understand the true meaning of friendship.

He is the kind of friend that you can talk to without having to say any words.

Our bond is so strong that no words need to be exchanged when we communicate.

Fate has it that he left for studies abroad. We lost contact after a few months of letter writing. (No emails were available then.)

Even now, I search for him on the internet.

There were lots of friends that came and left.

I would say they are mostly close acquaintances rather than friends.

Associates or acquaintances. People who are together because they are forced to be together. School mates, work mates, club mates, college mates…. all lost touch after I left.

“Friends” who betray you are not really friends.

We might think of them as friends but they do not see you in the same light.

“Friends” betray you because they wanted to become the drum major.

“Friends” betray you because they are interested in your girl friend.

“Friends” betray you because they believe in rumors instead of you.

“Friends” betray you because they are intimidated by you.

Been there, done that. That’s why I truly cherish real friends.

Friends who are there no matter where you are.

Friends who tell you off for not doing the right thing but still support you when doing the wrong thing.

I once was in charge of a group of young men and women.

We fought for what is right, we stood together to make sure that our department is not bullied.

We faced management as one when demanding our rights.

I thought they were my friends, but they turned their back on me when I was transferred to another department.

And to think that I shed a tear, when I was told that I had to leave the department.

I used to love them.

Its their loss.

Out of that horrible experience, true friends emerge.

Though we are no longer in the same organization, we always make sure we do things and go on holidays together.

Our friendship has been tested by betrayal, time and space.

My friends….






True deeds. True faith. True friends.


I grew up in a family that doesn’t show affection.

I know that my parents love me and I know that my brothers love me.

Just that we never say it or openly show it.

We don’t hug, kiss and come to think about it, there is no physical contact.

Strange, but that’s how we are.

Maybe that’s why I am awkward in social circles.

I don’t know how to act or behave.

I have always been a loner and have learned to love my own company.

Going out with friends, in a crowd full of people, dancing in a packed dance floor (yes, I used to dance a lot) I still feel alone.

It is not easy for me to connect. I try….. but usually I get bored then after.

The strange thing is that I am very popular in school and college.

I join a whole lot of clubs and associations.

I had a string of girlfriends. (yes, I fooled around when I was in college)

But I always long to be alone.

Alone in my thoughts, watching the world, just doing my own thing.

I love watching people, the way they behave, their interaction with each other…..

I now have a wonderful soul mate and a group of mates that I will die for.

But, there are still times, when I reminisce about the good old days when I was alone.

Someone told me that noone can be an island.

I beg to differ. *wink*