Friday, August 15, 2008


Just had an interesting conversation on the catalyst that made us who we are.

Some people probably never had one. Is it fortunate or unfortunate?

I would say it depends on how they turn out.

A timid person might be viewed positively if it is the norm of that society to see it as such.

Me? I am outspoken, aggressive, opinionated, a straight shooter and very confrontational.

Majority tells me that these are negative traits but strangely I have people trying to emulate me (unsuccessfully and sometimes very funny to watch) and highly sought after by market research companies.

But I was never like this when I was younger.

I used to be very quiet, non confrontational (I cant even look at another person in their eyes), walk about looking down on the floor and was bullied in school.

The catalyst would be when I was 12 years old.

That was the year when I beat up my school mate (not something that I should be proud of) but it did change my life.

It was not in a dark alley or a hidden nook when this happened.

It was just outside my class with my fellow schoolmates walking about. It was before school started.

They just turned a blind eye. It was strange. It was like we were in a world of our own.

It all started when my school mate wanted to borrow my “game and watch” (it was big during my time in the year 1983). It was like a primitive PSP and had only a single game on it.

He borrowed it and conveniently forgot to return it after a month.

I kept pestering him for it and he always came up with a stupid excuse.

Then 1 day I just flipped when he didn’t bring it again.

I just hit him. I felt bad and worried about getting in trouble but nothing came of it.

Stupidly enough, he still didn’t bring it back again the next day.

So, I hit him everyday for a week before he returned it.

It made me understand that to make a point, one had to resort to violence.

My following days and years were violent.

I believed that violence was needed to get what I want.

I was feared and respected.

Thankfully, in my life, I had lots of “big brothers” who taught me well.

Taught me patience, humility and the power of words over fists.

So, here I am, a jerk, a bastard, a son of a bitch.

Just be thankfully you didn’t know me when I was in my teens.