Good Bye!

My fault.

I cared.

I see a backdoor that wont close and I try to close it.

Why do I even bother?

Its coz I care.

Maybe I shouldn’t?

Seems the point of the back door is lost when the plumber, the carpenter, the locksmith and the whole damn world is at fault, so that we don’t have to talk about the backdoor.

The backdoor……………….

That is my only point.

I was thinking of shutting it, but you have your reasons.

My fault for actually believing you when you say no backdoor will be left open.

My fault for actually still giving a damn.

Why should I care when you obviously don’t?

Why should I close the backdoor when you obviously wanna leave it open?

I am no expert……. but I do know that more than 80% of failures are due to a backdoor.

I am no expert but I do know those who has no backdoor has a 99% success rate.

You say you wanna make it this time, but you refuse to acknowledge that your backdoor is open.

You say you wanna make it this time, but you refuse to close your back door.

You say you wanna make it this time, so you burn your bridges instead of closing the backdoor.

*sigh*

I too give up.

I will no longer speak my mind.

There will be no music to tango to.

There will be no bonfires to lit.

There will only be memories of what was and what could be.

Adios

Sayonara

Bon voyage

Good bye!

Lets Tango!

Yes its true.

I am no expert on life.

Never claimed to be.

I am just an opinionated asshole bastard jerk who is in your face.

The thing is, I am only in your face if I believe you are someone worth my time or your action jeopardise the people I care about.

You know I care about you.

I warned you about playing with fire and you ramble on about living your life to the fullest.

Under any normal circumstances, I would just let it be……… maybe even proud.

But this is not normal.

This is your own choice.

You chose your own prison and to avoid fire at all cost.

Therefore your proud statement is contradicting to what you have planned.

I am always one who is supportive.

If you like to play with fire, lets make the fire bigger.

I’ll help you make the fire bigger.

No idea what I’m talking about?

Uuuuu….. the suspense…….

You know me.

I walk the talk.

If I say it, I’ll do it.

I hate people who is all talk but doesnt walk the walk.

You wanna live your life to the fullest by leaving bread crumbs, playing with fire, keep moving to keep your balance.

I’ll pave a road on your crumbs, light a bonfire and make sure you really move your ass.

Lets tango baby!

The Ugly Truth

Nope, this is not a movie review.

This is the UGLY TRUTH!

Ever wondered why single ladies have affairs with married men?

The key is the ring and the magical line…. “I’ll leave my wife for you”

I have no idea why does a ring on a guy make him more desirable.

Is it the prospect that he can and will settle down?

And to think that he will leave the mother of his kids for you makes it a feather in your cap?

First off….. if he can leave his wife for you, he can definitely leave you for another.

Lets see…. You are special and is his soul mate, you are not the same.

That’s just your ego hunn.

You are just a feather in his cap.

He will change to a younger model when the opportunity arises.

But most important of all….. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE!

99 out of 100 just says it but will never do it!

You say he is the 100th one?

Again, just your ego hunn.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

What are you to him?

Scandal, girlfriend or mistress?

Excuses given…… “Now is not the right time”, “The kids are still young”, “She is pregnant”, “She is emotionally unstable”….. the list goes on.

THE UGLY TRUTH!

HE IS JUST PLAYING YOU!

HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE!

YOU ARE JUST A TOY THAT WILL BE DISCARDED ONCE HE IS BORED!

STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!

STOP WAITING!

HE IS A PLAYER AND YOU JUST GOT PLAYED!

What Are You?

Are you a drama queen?

Attention seeker?

Masochist?

You told the best management team who wanted to help you to shut the fuck up!

You perpetuate a relationship that has no future.

You choose a road that everyone stays away from.

You take action with no regard for the people who cares and love you.

You give excuses for your dilemma.

You ostracise those that wants to help you.

You seek advice and disregard them.

You want out but you keep staying in.

You want change but you refuse to change.

You show courage but choose to take the easy route.

You know what is right but continue to do wrong.

I can picture you saying that magical mantra……. “I have no choice”.

Life is full of choices.

We choose to breathe.

We choose who we are with.

We choose to be happy.

What did you choose?

Walking Down Memory Lane

Was clearing my handphone and came across this pic.

Banana split with tons of cherry on top.

For those who doesn’t know, I love banana split.

I am not into ice cream but I do love banana split very much.

The thing is….. I never liked the cherry.

I don’t mind popping a cherry but not gonna put one in my mouth. LOL

The pic shows my friend taking the cherries from Yana and myself and putting it on her banana split.

Those were the good times when we were travelling together.

Miss those days.

Anger Management?

Hahahaha…..

Someone just suggested that I need to go for anger management.

There is too much anger in my posts.

Seems reading my blog reflects that I am angry a lot.

An interesting observation.

But the strange thing is that I only get angry when it affects my loved ones.

Say what you want to me, do what you want to me, I am extremely patient.

But when a loved one is hurt…… I get very angry.

I fly off the handle when someone I care for is crying.

Whatever hurt or anger that one is going thru is amplified on me.

You don’t want me to get emotional?

Tough luck coz I care for you!

Family

Family….. wat is family?

Just because we share the same bloodlines that makes us family?

Just because we share the same father or mother that makes us family?

Just because we share the same child that makes us family?

That just makes us genetically connected but it means shit if you dun act like family.

Hard love?

Hard love means doing something unpopular for the good of a loved one.

Not shoving a loved one in harms way just to prove a point.

How about when there is no point to prove but doing something for selfish reasons?

That’s even worse.

Dogs behave better than that, but I will not insult the dog by comparing you to a dog.

Family is sticking together through thick and thin.

Family is supporting a loved one even when they make an obvious mistake.

Family is giving advice but not shoving your ideals on to others.

Family is loving, caring, sharing, helping and supporting one another no matter what.

I have friends that I call family.

I have colleagues that I call family.

I am lucky to have a family that behaves like a family.

If you cant act like family just shut the fuck up and get out of the way.

Nobody asked for your advice.

Nobody asked you to save the day.

Nobody asked you to make a list.

Just go fuck yourself and die!

Mix Start

It’s a mix start to the new month.

I went clubbing at Bar Savanth Too on Halloween’s night.

The Big Band was performing and I noticed that the lead vocals looked very familiar.

I waited for the set to end and approached him.

He recognised me, called me by a name that I haven’t heard in more than a decade.

He is Gareth Cheow, my ex school mate.

We have known each since 8 years old.

We smoked, chilled and just spoke about everything and nothing.

Most interesting is that he has started a group for ex Johanians for year 1988.

Very cool, time to find long lost friends.

That’s always fun.

Today is not a good day for me.

Today, I lose a colleague and a dear friend.

Today I have to watch someone very close to me make a very difficult decision.

A decision that will forever change the course of her life.

A decision that effects everyone that love and cares for her.

A decision that brought tears to those that hears it.

It was a decision that I hope will bring joy and happiness, but the vibes I get is dread and fear.

*sigh*

She is a big girl and should know what she is doing.

I just hope that I am wrong.

I don’t like to be wrong, but I pray to God that I am wrong in this instance.

So, old friends found and old friend lost.