Happy Birthday (Slightly Late)

Hi Baby

Sorry, was a long day.

It didnt help that I woke up late.

Anyways, I know its 45 hours pass your big day but....

Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To Jazmeen
Happy Birthday To You

*Big Hugz and Nose Kiss*

I love you always

Always longing for you to be in my arms again

Will be here for you always!

Are You Happy?

After my last post, I have been bombarded with questions.

The most common being am I happy?

Of course things can be better.

It always can.

I would be happier if I have my gals with me.

They are not.

Does it make me sad.

Of course.

But am I unhappy?

No I am not.

I am doing well personally and professionally.

I am very happy.

But being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect.

Being happy just means I am happy with what I have and what I’ve got.

Things are falling in to place and the future looks rosy.

Would I be bragging to say that I am freakingly happy?

Hehehehe…..

Go Die La

Reminiscing.

Reflecting.

Memories all come flooding back.

Strange how certain events that happens today can trigger the memories long buried.

Even stranger how some will act on the feelings of past in the hope of changing the future.

Well, never say never, stranger things have happened.

Me?

I am a cold blooded SOB that doesn’t like to reveal his feelings.

Sounds cold, of course.

I have a problem of expressing myself and I have a problem dealing with people who likes to express themselves.

Sounds unfair, I know.

Should I try? I have, but sometimes showing my feelings only gets me no where but more pain.

Should I stop? I don’t know. Should I?

I cant stop the changes that happens around me, but I can control the changes that happens within me.

Why change? I am happy. (It sounds selfish but why not? We are living in a selfish world)

If we can be happy with what we have, why bother thinking about what comes next?

Why worry about tomorrow when we cant even be happy today?

Know what you want and what you are doing.

You are screwed if you cant even do that.

Why bother to make everyone around you happy when you don’t even know what makes you happy inside.

Whats the normal excuses?

I have responsibilities, I have to save face, I have no choice…. yada… yada… yada

All loads of bull.

Might as well go die as you are not even living.

The Irony

Father’s day is in June.

Never really realised it.

The irony of it.

God has a real sense of humor.

LOL

Another challenge for the month of June.

Fine…. Whats one more?

I’ll take the challenge.

Whats new?

At least I know God is paying attention. *wink*

Yup, my glass is definitely half full.

Happy Birthday Nadya

Happy Birthday To You

Happy Birthday To You

Happy Birthday To Nadya

Happy Birthday To You

May your days be always bright and your nights always loved.

I love you and will always be here for you.

Its So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

The past shapes our present and helps create our future.

The past should remain in the past but the past has a strange way of rearing its head in the present.

People we havent seen for a decade are met, incidents that are buried starts resurfacing, sins that are forgotten bites you in the ass!

I would say move on but that’s always easier said than done.

Should memories be just memories, or are they real?

*************************************

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought wed get to see forever
But forevers gone away
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I dont know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where weve been
And what weve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope its worth all the wait
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.


*************************************

Lets just live for the moment, don’t think about the past or worry about the future.

About Time... Roll Call Update

Linda, Dayana, Alena, Muliza, American Chick, Zuridah, Stephanie, Joyce, Shikin, Nadiah, Nicole, Yana, Zurina, Madeline, Pahang Gal, Sue, Dewi, Mie, Fizah, Siti, Bee, Lyana, Moon, Nurul, Beth, Sherry, Tina, Syezza, Filly, Fern, Maya, Yaya

Wow.....

Nearly 1 year since the last update.

Its Here Again

Its that time of year.

Hello June.

June used to be such a special month for me……

Now it only brings sadness.

Its not easy seeing another year has passed, and knowing that so much has happened with me not being there.

It’s a burden that I cannot share with anyone.

I still show my jovial side, for my sadness is mine alone.

I ask not for understanding but solitude.

Allow me to bear the sins of my past.

Of course I might over compensate with sillier jokes, more perverse than usual, working longer hours, a lot more crazier and just downright not serious in matters of the heart.

That’s how I handle my misery.

Open up?

Whats the point?

Talking about it doesn’t make me feel better, only makes me see how pointless or useless the situation I am in.

I am not in the mood to feel inadequate.

I am not in the mood to satisfy your need to mother me.

I am not in the mood to quench your thirst for sharing.

I am who I am.

If it were to fester in me and kills me slowly, so be it.

I need to be uplifted.

I want to be entertained.

I just want to get by June with the minimal of damage.

It hurts whenever I think about it.

I just want to move on, but June will never allow me that.

It’s a grim reminder of what could have been.

A reminder that I made my bed and now I must sleep in it.

No regrets, just mind numbing pain.

And I handle pain by laughing.

When I stop laughing the pain begins.

I need to laugh, I must laugh.

June is 30 days of laughter for me.

Hahahahahahaahahahahahaha……..