Thursday, March 13, 2008


Friends. *sigh*

If only you know how much I cherish you.

I have been brought up with a strong principle of loyalty.

Loyalty to your leaders and to your friends.

A strong sense of brotherhood and strong bonds that should never be broken.

I have never been officially inducted into a gang, but I am unofficially there because of my sense of justice and my willingness to get physical when situations warranted it.

I got into my first fight when I was 12 and my first gang fight when I was 14. Word got around and the next thing I know, seniors were bringing me with them whenever there was trouble involved.

I was never really a gang member because the two predominant gangs in my school was either Chinese or Malay. I am not Malay and neither am I truly a Chinese (in the eyes of other Chinese who doesn’t understand me)

I guess I compensated by joining lots of clubs and associations.

My first true and dearest friend is Ahmad Rashide.

He is the one that makes me understand the true meaning of friendship.

He is the kind of friend that you can talk to without having to say any words.

Our bond is so strong that no words need to be exchanged when we communicate.

Fate has it that he left for studies abroad. We lost contact after a few months of letter writing. (No emails were available then.)

Even now, I search for him on the internet.

There were lots of friends that came and left.

I would say they are mostly close acquaintances rather than friends.

Associates or acquaintances. People who are together because they are forced to be together. School mates, work mates, club mates, college mates…. all lost touch after I left.

“Friends” who betray you are not really friends.

We might think of them as friends but they do not see you in the same light.

“Friends” betray you because they wanted to become the drum major.

“Friends” betray you because they are interested in your girl friend.

“Friends” betray you because they believe in rumors instead of you.

“Friends” betray you because they are intimidated by you.

Been there, done that. That’s why I truly cherish real friends.

Friends who are there no matter where you are.

Friends who tell you off for not doing the right thing but still support you when doing the wrong thing.

I once was in charge of a group of young men and women.

We fought for what is right, we stood together to make sure that our department is not bullied.

We faced management as one when demanding our rights.

I thought they were my friends, but they turned their back on me when I was transferred to another department.

And to think that I shed a tear, when I was told that I had to leave the department.

I used to love them.

Its their loss.

Out of that horrible experience, true friends emerge.

Though we are no longer in the same organization, we always make sure we do things and go on holidays together.

Our friendship has been tested by betrayal, time and space.

My friends….






True deeds. True faith. True friends.